there's no celebration
without mourning, and vice versa.
but it feels wrong, surrounded by cheer
to hold back my tears.
i'll serve the cake and all,
laugh together, then retreat.
it is my pain to bear,
i will do it alone, in my home.
i wish you were still here.
it's unfair that i cannot
hold your hand again,
ask your plans for next year.
in my dream, long ago,
you told me it was time to let go.
but i still hold you in my heart,
pray to feel your presence near.
one day we'll meet again,
i've got your memories until then.
your bracelet still on my wrist,
i haven't loosened my grip.
not even a bit.